Braid For Sale?

So I was in this little coffee / juice shop that is downstairs from my friend J's loft... We were waiting for our drinks and just wandering around the little shop when she happened on this flyer tacked up to one of the columns in the shop. We couldn't stop laughing and reading every detail...

Some things I'd like to bring up:

1 - This is HAND DRAWN... and by that I mean NOT A COPY either. In this computer era where we can download photos from any website in the world or scan in actual photos this person actually took the time to HAND DRAW each flyer they posted around town.

2 - AMAZING DETAIL... ok before I didn't want to purchase a braid, but now that I've seen how it can make earrings sparkle and pearls gleam I might change my mind... Plus - is it just me or would the new braid actually make me bustier?

3 - BRIGHT RED... so the actual HAND DRAWING pictures a soft orange hair while the writing in the ad boasts BRIGHT RED. Is this a form of false advertising?

4 - PLACEMENT... Seriously? A coffee shop? Now I don't spend a lot of time in coffee shops so I'm not sure, but does the average coffee drinker NEED a BRIGHT RED braid?

5 - LENGTH... 35 inches? Seriously? This is either WAY too much hair to use on your head or not enough to make a bright read hammock. Give me a length I can use!!! There is no way I can have my prince climb to my window using only 35 inches.

6 - CONTACT TAGS... At the bottom there are little tags with a phone number... All I have to say is SOME ARE MISSING???

Seriously if any of you have in your possession a little tag - THROW IT AWAY!!! To be clear I DO NOT want this for my birthday. I can think of no better way to introduce lice or any number of diseases to myself and my house or both if I decide to use it to make a hammock.

What holiday is in February?

I know that seems like an odd question - and in all reality it is. However, it is prompted by an odd situation. Tonight, February 24th (saturday) we noticed something quite odd...

My neighbors, not the ones right next door, the next-next door neighbors (2 doors down) seem to be preparing for the holidays. AGAIN or perhaps just VERY EARLY.

While inside my place I heard the familiar sound of a shopping cart being pushed along the concrete walkway outside my window. K who was at my house actually looked out and then came back in with a bit of a shocked look. Evidently the next-next doors were pushing two shopping carts full of holiday wrapped gifts to their condo. Not really that odd except that it is not December. I realized that my christian upbringing may have made me a bit close minded about holidays and so I actually did what anyone with a question does these days. I turned to Google. I searched Holidays February.

While February houses both Black History Month as well as GroundHog's Day (which as my cousin S states we do not observe as promised) I could find no holiday in February warranting carts full of wrapped gifts. Which leads me to question the sanity of my next-next doors as well as the contents of their carts. I don't want to make assumptions, but obviously I live next-next door to drug smugglers. Which pretty much makes me famous. If you need anything autographed just send it my way.